obstacles on our paths

At times it feels like others thwart our goals and throw obstacles in our paths which hold us back. Today I am reminded that I am my own worst enemy. That I can choose to see those perceived obstacles as points of clarification, as questions that ask "do you really want to travel this path?" "are you sure you want to achieve this goal?". I can reflect instead of strain.

I can act swiftly and decisively and turn the challenge into a positive, make a friend of it and learn.

These obstacles, slow me down, perhaps I was moving too fast. Perhaps I do not have the tools I will need for this journey and this pause is helping me to acquire them.

Today, let me sit still long enough to see that my obstacles are friends and not hold it against those who place them there, instead let me practice forgiveness of others and of myself.

one step at a time

This is a time of year when I find myself focussed on gratitude. Gratitude for the many small and great blessings in my life. The family I have who are still all here, whilst so many have family who have died. The love of my family. Wonderful, trustworthy and loyal friends. Shelter, food, water and a body that still works - a bit slower these days -still working. Thankful for the opportunity to share with others and for their trust and faith in me. For my faith in myself. So thankful for my brain which I do use and I try to understand how it works to optimise its power. Thankful for all that is seen and not seen that supports me and most grateful because I  know that i am supported by the unseen. I am thankful for my heart, ever opening and opening and opening. The more it opens the stronger I feel, the more love I give and receive.... life is beautiful.

Gratitude helps me to stop noticing that which is not working. Gratitude focusses my attention on what is working in my life and invariably leaves me with a feeling of contentment. Content in the knowledge that I can build on what I have and as long as I keep a positive attitude and an attitude of gratitude I move forward one step at a time. This is how I have been doing it all along.... one step at a time. @lornahouston

Cool fresh air at the crack of dawn, telling me it is a new day. Another chance to start. An opportunity to succeed at that which I failed at yesterday. An opportunity to do what i put off doing yesterday and to be my best again today!

soul power

Know that i am full and complete, i am perfect.
Accept the good and not so good. Make peace with the parts of me i suppress. Then i can deal with it.
Be still, do with love.
I have to reawaken and know my essence and it helps to create newness.
Create an attitude of disinterest if i want to move from an interest.
The challenge is letting go.
Soul power lies in the choices i make.
Spring clean physical spaces and the mind.
Be present and focus on what needs to be done now.

The journey in short - Eastern Cape and Back in 3 days

Thursday the Cape Town travellers: Sinazo, Bongiwe, Nolovey, Abigail, Thulani and I, Lorna left Cape Town at about 21h00 to go and bury Sandile in the Eastern Cape. Bhuti Mzaala, agreed to transport us.

We arrived Friday morning, had some breakfast at Sandi's father's BhutMxolisi, home and then went to wash and nap at his grandmother's home where his mom, sisLumka was staying. sisThozama Sandile's step mother and his aunt sisLindy were very hospitable in driving us around and feeding us.

Friday night we went to Frankfort for a prayer meeting and returned very late and exhausted since we did not have proper sleep the previous night as we were on the road. We stayed in Mdantsane Hotel.

Saturday morning we were up very early to be at ekhaya no tata ka Sandile for prayers as the body leaves. We then drove in convoy to Frankfort for the funeral.

We looked forward to meeting Billz and Gracious at the farm in Frankfort. We spent the entire day at the funeral and drove back to Mdantsane where we discovered that we did not have a place to sleep due to some misunderstanding and needed to find new accommodation, which tata kaSandi managed to sort out.

It was wonderful to be with Gracious again and to spend time with Billz - small mercies.

We drove back on Sunday 18 November.

Thank you Bhuti Mzaala for your patience with our needs on this trip, as it turned out we stayed in Mdantsane and Sandi was buried in Frankfort, we went their twice,  and it is very far from Mdantsane. Thank you Abigail for organising the transport.

Thank you to the Cape Town travellers for a meaningful journey.

Gratitude in the wake of death

Loosing Sandile has been extremely hard to deal with as Thulani and I who are two people who normally hold and contain the organisation and its processes are also the two people who have been parenting young Sandile here in Cape Town – Thulani much, much more than I, in both cases. I know that Sandile and I are very close as souls, which is why we cared so much for each other and so we remain connected at that level. My physical self though is reeling at this loss and as much as I would like to just sit with my feelings I have not yet had the chance to fully do this as obligations arise and my own need to escape in busy-ness arises. I have though sat, felt my sadness, just been, cried, stilled my body. I am thankful to Thulani who understands my sadness best, for giving me permission to do as I please and for holding me when I need it. I am thankful to Nadia for love and support even though she is still writing exams and grieves in her own way. I am thankful for my Houston family (the whole tribe) who truly love and care for me and their support through this time, for my Umbon’omhle family who fill my heart with love and compassion as they continue in the ‘summer wars’.  I am thankful for Sandile’s friends and the Langa community who came together at the Memorial and helped to create a beautiful evening of celebration and remembrance of an Angel known as Sandile Nene.

Thankful for the life I have lived and the privilege of having Sandman in my life and being able to share him with my Houston family. Thankful to Lumka for laying a foundation of love of food, openness and respect in him.  Eternally thankful to Thulani for saving Sandile’s life by showing him a way of being in the world that is about respect, caring and love – Sandi embraced this so fully, as many who spoke at his Memorial reflected, he was so loving, respectful, generous, humurous and caring.  

 I am thankful for the time granted me to take off work and for the beautiful chanting led by Lenore to lift his soul. Thankful to the Divine, angels, saints, elevated spiritual beings, my spiritual guides, Guanshiyin – Buddha of love and compassion for so many blessings and holding me in this time of deep heartache.

Stories about Caring People and Caring Acts

Last night we were discussing the idea of a story about people in a community and how they care. Care as an action. The story should inspire those who read it to act in caring ways by its illustration of care in action. Sad that we need to teach people how to care or at least, help them rememeber how to care. Our daily actions should be the image of care. The past few years we have had the international Mandela Day where people are encouraged to give 67 minutes of their time in the interest of another. We need to do our 67 minutes every day, all day. Showing that you care in small ways like listening, greeting, smiling, sharing our knowledge these simple quick ways of caring can have a huge impact on someone. We all need acknowledgement and those are not very demanding ways to acknowledge another human being leaving another feeling valued and like they matter.

Anyway back to the conversation last night. It was interesting to note that in thinking about key characters for this story it felt necessary to have a self destructive person and one that is just going through the motions - because these 2 characters are so common in our world. This is why we need to tell this story, to change behaviour and increase caring and one day we can rewrite this story with our characters all being examples of great caring and compassionate beings.